I’ve decided to add an entire new category to Polishment. I already cover Five Finger Discount (free giveaways), Nailed It! (awesome nails spotted in the wild) and All Thumbs (DIY nail art), among other topics. And now I present: Appallishment. Utterly appalling nails. A Hall of Shame, if you will.
I owe my inspiration to the MTV Movie Awards. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen such… talons. Check out one of my favorite sites, Jezebel, to read commentary on the overall fashion at the awards. I’m here for the nails and nothing but the nails.
Let’s cut right to the chase. Amber Rose, what are these Things? I’m not keen on a stiletto shape to begin with, so that’s a strike right there. Not to mention, a stiletto nail makes quite a statement on its own, no need for these… “embellishments.” (Pearls? Glitter? AND golden charms? Honestly??) Whyyy gild the lily, amirite? And the color… it’s all just too, too much. A short and glossy nail could pull that color off, but these claws are just too crazy. And dangerous!
Oh, Paris. How far the mighty have fallen. Was it too much to ask for her to careen around town in her pink Bentley to get her nails taken care of? I fear that this chipped polish is a cry for help. It’s not a good sign. I know polish, and I can tell this is nearly two weeks’ worth of wear. You guys, this is serious. Heard it here first. Is a chihuahua to blame?
Ciara has what seems to be a glitter gradient going on… but it’s too much with the rings. And boy, do I mean rings. I count a jaw-dropping 17 rings. Definitely an attention-grabbing rock star look, though. I’ll give her that.
And yet… it wasn’t all bad! Here are some of the good guys:
K.Stew! Well what a surprise. Looking good, girlfriend. Is it me, or does her skin have an extra… sparkle? Muah. Haha. Muahahaha. But seriously, nice nails ya got there.
O Janelle, Queen of Metropolis, the ArchAndroid, you slay me! I love your black & white shtick. Excellent use of the accent nail. High marks, high marks all around!
This last girl, I have no idea. Her name is Booboo or Fivel or something, I don’t know. I could do a little reconnaissance, but I have the sneaking suspicion it will end in disappointment (Disney star? Nickelodeon nonsense) so I’ll end our relationship now before it heads south. Fivel, you rocked a fun, age-appropriate and on-trend look. Nicely played.
What do you guys think? Did I skip any awesomely (or awesomely appalling) manis?